Finding Ease at Skaha. (Camera Motivated Risk?) Photo: Al Yamada

Finding Ease at Skaha. (Camera Motivated Risk?) Photo: Al Yamada




“You risked your life, but what else have you ever risked? Have you risked disapproval?  Tom Robbins


What are our modern examples of courage?  Wing-suit proximity flyers, highball un-tethered slack liners, mountaineers and auto racers come to mind as courageous individuals.  Being originally from Calgary, I would have to put bull riders on the list. These are people who put themselves in situations that could be harmful to their physical well-being. Characters who inspire and often push their sport to a new level because they do things others have not or could not imagine. It is a valid form of art, or courage, which I disputed here to gain awareness.

The  validity of the courage of these individuals could simply be addressed by a question. Would they do what they do without a camera rolling or when nobody is watching?  If so, then there may be purity. I ask this question because I have embodied 'camera motivated courage'. I have known myself to be a man who would rather die than face life without the notice and affirmations of others.  It was my attempt to fill the yawning void at the core of my being.

I have made decisions in my life that have been costly . . . chiefly because I was less afraid of dying than I was of being rejected by another human being. This has become my journey, to be who I am and to accept myself wholeheartedly even if it brings disapproval. I know I am not alone. Walking this earth and gaining this awareness, I see this fear in the eyes of my fellow human beings. I witness "the void" in others in epidemic proportions. It presents as a dis-ease in the countenance, one that seeks validation.  As one dear friend said to me with a brutal brand of the deepest compassion,. . ."The gig is up!"

Self-love is where all goodness stems; including saving the planet. Being enough for oneself requires deep courage for one has to face the personal void inside, and discover for ourselves our own lasting treasure.  It is a perilous journey of not needing others to be happy.

Ken Wylie

July 10 2015


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